dating advice

How to Place Your Order for the Ideal Man



Yes, I am ready to place my order; I’ll have the fried tilapia dinner fried, extra crunchy with macaroni & cheese and coleslaw for my side orders.  I want Sunshine Lemonade to drink with light ice and for dessert please and add some homemade graham cracker crust apple pie.  The attendant rings up your order and repeats it back to you…you verbally say yes “My order is correct.” 

The attendant then says “Your order will come to $14.50.”  You pull out the money hand her a $20.00 bill, she gives you your change and tells you your order will be ready in 15 minutes.

That was such a simple task of ordering your favorite food, but do you realize that ordering the ideal man uses the same process and is really that simple. So why are some single women saying,  “I can’t find a good man?” Going on date after date only to feel frustrated and sometimes rejected because you have high expectations that this could be the one, but 10-15 minutes into the date you realize it was a complete waste of time.

I know from experience that feeling all too well, going through the motions of putting on your best outfit, getting your hair fried, died and laid to the side.  Adorning your face with your best cosmetics and you even stopped by the car washed to make sure everything about you gives the impression of being flawless. All that for a date that ended before it began.


1. Make a decision that you are ready for love, and you will release the sabotaging language and actions that repel the ideal men from being attracted to you. Sabotaging language is when you say things like, “no matter what I do I keep attracting all the jerks.” Because what you say is what you get!


2.  Evolve your language and passion to articulate what you like and stop rehearsing what you don’t like. Have you noticed that when you place your order for your favorite food, you don’t discuss what you don’t want. You only talk about the items you want and you share how you want it.  The same with placing your order for the ideal man. Only talk about the qualities and aspects your desire in a mate. Example of evolving language is instead of saying, “I want a man who is kind and smart,” you would say, “I want a man who  considers my thoughts and opinions first, and after hearing what I say, knows how to make a wise judgment that I can easily respect.”


3. Measure UP. Make sure you are in the right space in your heart and head to receive what you want. In other words, make sure what you are asking for you are also able to offer those same qualities. Being able to embody what you want is the key for your order being granted. If you want a successful, sexy man who is kind, make sure you are successful, sexy and kind.  It is out of natural order to place an order for something or someone you are not equipped to pay for. In this instance you measure up by paying with your personal characteristics, your morals, your discipline and your BS ( belief system).


4.  Give it time. Allow your order to be processed and prepared for your ideal man. Your ability to wait patiently is the difference between a gourmet man or a TV dinner. Gourmet takes a little longer than a TV dinner. This is when I tell you DON’T SETTLE for less than what you know you deserve. For example, if the attendant gave you your food order and it was not prepared correctly, what do you do? You repeat the agreement for the order and wait until what you asked for, you get. What happens when you get tired of waiting for our ideal man order? You start mumbling, complaining, doubting, entertaining buzzards, and buzzard-like behavior in men just to have someone.  DON’T SETTLE because when you do, you make it difficult to believe what you want really exists. Wait for everything you ordered.


Finding a good man may appear to be one of the most challenging experiences some of us women face; however, the challenge is often diminished when you know what to do and where to go for help.  Sometimes you will have to place several orders until you find the right combination of the man that fits you, but just understand that life will only give you what you are ready for, so place your order today because what you’re seeking is also seeking you.

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Nekisha Michelle, MSW is the only plus-size matchmaker in the world. Nekisha is a speaker, television personality, business owner, author and producer. She has a social media following of over 12,000 fans across all platforms combined. Her mission is to support women in becoming Ready Women who live happy, successful- lives and create sexy, healthy -relationships without overwhelm and conflict. Nekisha Michelle believes, The Ready Woman can have it all through B.L.I.S.S. (Beauty. Love. Intuition. Sensuality. Significance.)